AutoIncorrect
by 806270TM
Summary: Demigods plus iPhones equals AutoCelery. *AutoCherry. Damn it. *AutoCorrect. LOL. Got it! R&R. T for mature language.
1. Chapter 1

**Auto Incorrect: I found some of these on the internet. I found them to be hilarious. Thus this was born. I disclaim.**

* * *

Jason: Hey. I hate to ask this, but can I please borrow some money?

Leo: What for and how much?

Jason: 300 dollars for my MOTTS APPLESAUCE payment.

Leo: WTF Jason! How much applesauce did you buy!

Jason: It was supposed to say Mortgage Payment!

Leo: Sure…

* * *

Step-Mom: How you doing, Annabeth?

Annabeth: Not good. I just fucked Bobby in a closet.

Step-Mom: Don't you dare curse!

Annabeth: That was supposed to say found! And why are you more worried about me cussing than having sex with my little brother in a closet! Get your priorities straight!

* * *

Grover: What's up Perce?

Percy: Nothing much. I just drank a cock and jiz got everywhere.

Grover: TMI!

Percy: *Coke. And *Fizz. Stupid auto cucumber.

Percy: *Auto cucumber.

Percy: *AUTO CUCUMBER!

Percy: God Donut!

Percy: I'm buying a noodle phone.

Grover: This was one messed up convo. That was supposed to say new wasn't it?

Grover: Hello?

* * *

Chiron: Hello Nico. How are you doing on the journey from that _other _place?

Nico: I tried to buy a Snickers bar with only pennies, but they wouldn't accept it.

Chiron: Seriously?

Nico: Yeah. They told me my penis wouldn't fit in the register.

Nico: LMFAO! *Pennies! Whoever invented autocorrect will die in a hole and rot in Tartarus for eternity!

* * *

Travis: What's up bro?

Conner: I have a bad case of the manboobs.

Travis: …

Conner: What? OMG I just read what I said! It was supposed to say Mondays.

Travis: It's Tuesday.

* * *

Clarisse: Babe… I think I'm pregnant.

Chris: We're sorry. The AT&T subscriber yu are trying to reach is no longer in service.

Clarisse: You spelled "YOU" wrong.

Chris: We're sorry. The AT&T subscriber *you are trying to reach is no longer in service.

* * *

Demeter: How's my pregnant little daughter?

Katie: How did you know!

Demeter: *perfect.

Demeter: Wait… What!

* * *

Hera: What does IDK, LY, TTYL mean?

Zeus: I don't know, love you, talk to you later.

Hera: Okay. I'll ask your brothers.

Zeus: *Facepalm*

* * *

Percy: Mom, can I go to a 50 cent concert tonight?

Mom: Sure. There's a dollar bill on the counter. Bring Tyson with you!

Percy: -_-

* * *

**Review if you want me to continue! Or if you liked it! Or not! Review anyways!**

**~806270TM**


	2. Chapter 2

**Another Chapter! I think I'll expand from auto corrects. Some things are just too funny to pass up. So these are from sites like whysiriwhy and damnyouautocorrect.**

**-PAGEBREAK**

Leo reviewed his list of dPhone issues. Apparently his demigod phone wasn't foolproof, and now his costumers were falling victim to the horrors of digital editing. Another email popped up. Another list! Why? Why must his design be so imperfect?

He looked down the list. Apparently the problems were expanding from autocorrect infractions to just plain weird texts. How this qualified, he had no clue. Maybe management was just sending him funny things. Oh, wait! He _was_ management!

-PAGEBREAK

Leo: Chiron, why is grammar such a big deal?

Chiron: Grammar is important! It is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.

Leo: Wow.

-PAGEBREAK

Nico: Hey. What do you want to go do tonight?

Minos: I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU KEEP CONSTANTLY TEXTING ME AND IT ANNOYS ME SO MUCH! GO DIE IN A HOLE!

Nico: I had no idea you felt that way. You could have just said so.

Minos: LOL! Stupid Auto Correct! I meant to say let's go to the mall.

-PAGEBREAK

Percy: Annabeth said to act like a human being. What does that mean?

Grover: Human Being- a creature that cuts down trees, makes paper, and writes "Save the Trees" on the same paper.

Percy: If you say so…

Grover: NO! I did not mean for that to be sent to you! Don't you dare touch the trees!

-PAGEBREAK

Apollo:

Roses are red,

Cumulonimbus clouds are gray,

This poem is obvious,

Artemis: You don't say?

Athena: My ears are bleeding. But good job on the use of the word cumulonimbus.

Apollo: Actually, Arty, I was going to say horses go neigh.

Artemis: What is wrong with my life?

Athena: I feel bad for you…

-PAGEBREAK

Annabeth: Let's see. Google search.

Google: Nothing found for Rebecca Black's Talent.

Annabeth: I knew it!

-PAGEBREAK

Percy: Siri, where did I put my car keys?

Siri: Your car keys are in your left jacket pocket, sir.

Percy: WTF! How did you know that?

Siri: There are many things I know about you…

Percy: STALKER!

- PAGEBREAK

Siri: I make you laugh?

Annabeth: NO! I said you make me mad!

Siri: Don't be mad… it will just make you… angry.

Annabeth: Dear Zeus! This is an insult to my intelligence! Those are synonyms! You are like having a handicapped secretary!

Siri: This is America. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, Annabeth.

-PAGEBREAK

Leo sighed. What was wrong with his life?

-PAGEBREAK

**That was fun. This is more of a filler chapter… apparently I spend way too much time on my laptop, so my mom took it away… I'll get the next chapter up around Monday? Maybe? Anyways, vote on my poll and tell me which order I should do the stories. Details are on the top of my profile, so read the info and vote! And while you're at it, press the blue button at the bottom! The review one! And review! Also, if you want to turn in one of these for me to do, PM me or leave it in a review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I know. I said Monday like 15 million weeks ago. I will never abandon this story.**

Percy: I know! I'm so stoked!

Grover: I know, right? Afterbirth Potter!

Percy: Say what now?

Grover: *Harry

Grover: *Harry Potter

Percy: AFTERBIRTH POTTER? How does that even happen?

Grover: Well. If it's any consolation, I tried to use a bunch of r's in Harry. I have no viable excuse.

**oOOOOo**

Thalia: Are you doing Secret Santa this year?

Annabeth: Yeah. I got Chiron. You?

Thalia: Percy.

Annabeth: Lucky. What am I supposed to even get an ancient dude?

Thalia: Just play it safe. Get him a pot plant

Annabeth: That's playing it safe?

Thalia: *potted plant. Autocorrect wants you in jail.

Annabeth: Doesn't the world?

**oOOOOo**

Percy: I'm really, really sorry.

Percy: Please forgive me?

Annabeth: Actions speak louder than wombats.

Annabeth: Lol. Words. That made me laugh so hard. But I'm still mad.

**oOOOOo**

Leo: I'm making tacos. Maybe you could bring some Gringos.

Leo: *Gringott's

Leo: Dorito's

Leo: Spirits

Leo: Zebra's

Leo: FRITO'S. But I have no clue where zebras came from.

**oOOOOo**

Percy: Hey, dude. Can we get some pancakes and sermon?

Grover: Okayyyy. Praise Jesus! Glory to God! If you like pancakes, can I get an AMEN!

Percy: I wrote syrup!

Grover: Okay. Let's go get some iHop.

**oOOOOo**

Travis: So how do you like your new job?

Connor: The police force is awesome! I pick up my unicorn Friday!

Travis: Dude! You get your own unicorn! Best job ever! I wouldn't even get pissed off if I was pulled over by a cop on a unicorn!

Connor. -_- You would be if you saw the fine.

**oOOOo**

Thalia: Help! I got that song stuck in my head again!

Nico: I got them boobs like Jagger! I got them boobs like Jagger!

Thalia: Well he is kind of old…

Nico: I hate you too.

**oOOOo**

Thalia: The song is gone! Now it's just Party Rock!

Nico: EVERY DAY I'M SNUFFLEAFUGAS!

Thalia: Your phone strikes again.

Nico: *Shufflin

Nico: I still hate you.

Piper: OMG! The cops are here and my neighbor's getting arrested!

**oOOOo**

Leo: Really!

Piper: It's really serious. They read him his banana rights and everything.

Leo:… read your text.

Piper: LOL! You're never letting me live this down.

Leo: Nope!

**I know. It may be short, but it's still something. Anyway, I'm psyched at the number of reviews I got! And there's no more blue button! Just a box! Even more convenient!**


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